


A Krampuskarten

by disdonc (orphan_account)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 05:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/disdonc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of Christmas cultural clashing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Krampuskarten

A normal woman would have screamed. A normal  _anyone_  would have screamed. When a small noise awoke Melinda she was moving almost instantly toward the thing that was looming over her. Bracing herself with her arms, she pushed herself toward the end of the bed and launched a kick at the _thing_.

“Hey!”

It flew aside as she connected, revealing Natasha standing there.

“What. The. Hell!”

Nat was pouting out her lower lip while her eyes twinkled with amusement. “You’ve gone and killed Krampus. You’re never going to get in his good books that way.”

More fully awake, Melinda looked across the room at whatever the hell Natasha had been holding up. It looked like a humanoid goat with thick, brown fur, twisted horns, but with human eyes. A now-obviously rubber pink tongue was lolling out of its mouth. White stuffing was spilling out of its neckline where Melinda’s kick had torn the seams.

“We might need to rethink sleeping arrangements for the holidays,” Melinda said while trying to slow her breathing down.

“You said you wanted the place to be festive.”

“That’s your idea of Christmas decorations?”

“Krampus comes along every Yule season and snatches up the naughty boys and girls and drags them off to his lair. It’s a good lesson for the children.”

Melinda sat back in bed, her trying to suppress a smile. 

“I thought you agreed to decorations a little too quickly…”

“Now don’t you make fun of my childhood traditions. You Americans think your fat man hawking Coca-Cola is so superior.”

But she was already bursting into laughter.

Melinda rolled her eyes and said, “Now come here so that we can discuss naughty and nice.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've read enough of shieldivarius' fic that Nat and Melinda are thoroughly, utterly headcanon-ed. 
> 
> Krampus is a real, terrifying holiday tradition: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus


End file.
